An ordered life brings calm. Our body is our temple and our mind the seat. Whatever your religious beliefs, big bang theory etc, you can look around you at all the beauty of this world and all the atrocious acts too and conclude two things: Firstly – there is good and evil sparring it out here and Secondly – this planet and everything within it and upon it didn’t just happen. There is way too much order, beauty and workmanship in everything and how it fits together, from fish to butterflies, to Jaguars to trees. Nothing had to be this well orchestrated, this beautiful and yet it is.
Part of honoring ourselves, our temple, our seat, is taking care of ourselves by taking care of things around us in such a way that we create calm rather than calamity for both us, our family members and those within our scope. But because being OCD can also bring chaos, there is value in things being imperfect. There is, in fact, perfection in the imperfection, if you will.
Now, as one of my dear friends always says when discussing finding a lover or choosing friends, is that you have got to pick your flavor of crazy, because we all are. And another dear friend used to tell me she was looking for someone who had fewer problems than she had. These two principles can be applied to all areas of life, really. It boils down to respecting of ones self, ones divinity. All of us being devine in nature, when we get in touch with that grace, then we begin to recognize that we no longer need the fluff of drama injected into everything that we touch.
This doesn’t mean that sometimes negative stuff doesn’t simply happen, but rather, it means we are engaged to actively minimize it on a daily basis and we do this out of honor for ourselves and our fellow companions because we deserve it, we deserve peace and life is stressful enough without adding negative drama on the top of it all.
That stated, here are ways that I actively work to reduce chaos and create peace.
Two Things Wrong Theory – For anything in my life, whether it’s a car or house, a usable item like a sofa, electronics etc, I strive for not more than 2 things wrong. In this way, I maintain a 0-2 defect ratio in all things. If I hit a third thing on the car or house, then I know I am out of balance and promptly get at least one thing that’s wrong, fixed. Honestly, I am rather anal about my cars and home so things get fixed quickly. This can be tailored to the individual, perhaps you can adopt five things for example or make other adjustments which suit you. Make it something that is comfortable for you and your lifestyle as well as tailored to what you care most about. For example, you may care more about your home than your car and want 2 or fewer things wrong with your casa but if your car is dirty, you have 3 door dings but it runs, you’re good with that.
Pick your number. For me, nothing in my life has more than two things wrong with it at any given time. In this way, I don’t feel snowed under with to do lists that I feel I’ll never crawl out from under. I minimize the heavy expense of fixing a bunch of things at once too.
Love Your Home & Create Peace In It- Home should be a safe haven, a place where you seek and find comfort, joy and beauty. You can tell a lot about a person and their psyche by their home. Conversely, you can mind your brain and heal your nervous system by keeping things tidy. De-cluttering what is around you orders and calms the brain. Having things around that give you joy bolster you up with every passing glance just as seeing piles of what needs taking care of can weigh you down. Even if your home is temporary, it affects you each time you are there. I’m a big fan of adding even a hint of personality to a temporary space or cubicle and ordering it in such a way that it provides you clear thinking and peace. I highly recommend Sacred Space by Denise Linn, it’s one of my reference books on everything from space clearing to meditation. I also have her Feng Shui For The Soul and keep that as a great reference too.
Expect & Buy Quality – To minimize chaos for myself, I strive for things made well. I don’t mind paying more for this because I generally keep things a long time. My amplifier is over 2 decades old. The amp before it was also over 20 years old. It met its’ demise over a hairball my kitty hawked onto it. It never stood a chance. One entire channel went toast and in the US, there were no matching parts. I didn’t think it would ever sound right with mismatched channel components so I shopped for a replacement. So I buy quality, take very good care of stuff and my expectation is that they take care of me.
Let Go Of Crap Products – My Lexus LS600HL is pictured above. At over 120k MSRP, I thought I had purchased a reliable and solid vehicle and one that would last me decades. But the thing was a Debbie Downer with a failed water pump, brake actuator and upper control arms all at less than 60k miles. On top of this, the ‘luxury’ of it suffered with poor workmanship. The leather wrapping the dashboard came totally unglued in a week’s timespan parked not in a garage as was typical, but in the June sunshine. In that same week, the Bezel surrounding the console mysteriously cracked as well. The thing ate money. Now, I was completely fine paying all that cash up front, but completely pissed off paying months of salary every quarter! I’m in a Jaguar now. I got everything fixed on the misbegotten Lexsucks except the bloody dashboard and sold it to Carmax for 7k higher than the dealership offered to buy it back! In the most respectful way I can say it right now, Lexus? Piss directly off! Never again will I purchase a new Lexus or Toyota product. You will note that I created signs and added letter to the back end around the ‘L’ to spell Awful Lousy and I had fun for a few months discussing the car, parking in prominent places all over town sharing my story. But at the end of the day, the vehicle was not bringing me the peace I bought it for. I had named it Zen and it wasn’t happiness anymore when I never knew when the next break would happen. So, whatever you personally expected or paid for something, let it go if it’s crap. Just get it out of your life. In this situation, karmically, I repaired the car and to the best of my abilities assured (Per Sewell Lexus in Dallas) that nothing else was, at that moment, wrong with the car. I turned it over to Carmax still owing repair bills, with a fresh oil change, ready for the new owner who will hopefully avail themselves of the Carmax extended warranty.
Take Care Of Your Stuff – I try to apply the minimum pressure to things such as buttons and dials, keep it clean, polished, lubed, whatever to keep it humming smoothly. When you buy with care and take pride and care in what you have, it is amazing how long stuff can last. This is why we have appliances from the 60’s still working in kitchens today. Also, the recent shift has clearly been to make crap. I don’t suffer crap very well. So when we expect quality and choose to no longer put up with junk, that is when companies will be incited to create better merchandise.
A Throw-Away Society Is Ruinous To The Entire Planet – When we create throw away items or when we as consumers buy things that we don’t take care of, causing them to wear out faster, we affect the ecosystem of our planet. There’s a girl who writes a blog about how her life has been creating zero trash. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16168/i-havent-made-any-trash-in-2-years-heres-what-my-life-is-like.html
I am nowhere close to that level of recycling and green, but the post has inspired me to do better since the day I first read it. It has made me far more aware of all the things I purchase, whether it is something which can be reused and if not, what else I might buy or use instead that will not trash the planet.
Downcycle By Giving Away (or selling) What You No Longer Use or Need – Recently, a neighbor put out a box to the sidewalk area (code for take it if you want, it’s free) with a nice note stating it was a Dell Monitor and that it worked very well, they had just upgraded and didn’t need any longer. Well, it just so happened I needed a monitor for my contract job. I didn’t open the box until I got to my cubicle the following Monday. Let me tell you, I was impressed with the care and level of attention paid to re-wrapping all the cables, cords and whatnots. The monitor was clean and looked like new. I wrote a thank you card introducing myself and how much I appreciated that monitor! I love paying it forward and what a thrill it was to actually get something so fabulous.
Expect Quality in Yourself – While I am far from perfect, I do try to eat right, no meat, dairy, lots of raw veggies and I use organic skincare routines and work out. I invest in and take ownership of my own well being. In short, I minimize what can go wrong by being aware of where I am at healthwise and managing my resilience. Some folks eat like they don’t give two f*cks and people, this is going to show up downstream. It is never selfish to take care of you. When you come from a position of strength, you are in the best shape to go help others.
Unhook From Drama – Our mind is a computer that literally programs itself to think in such a way that we tend towards. In other words, if you tend to be happy and positive, your brain will tend to think positively and if you tend to think oh why me, and life sucks, then your brain will condition that way as well. If you want change, the trick is being patient for the next 30 days which create the new habit and way of being. I know people who are continuously in one negative drama after another. They do this simply because this is how they have taught themselves that life is for them. They don’t know and accept for themselves another path, a new way. Believe me there is! Try a daily meditation such as Rolf Gates, Meditations From The Mat or Meditations on Intentions and Being. IF you are stuck in a co-dependent relationship, I will say that Melody Beattie The Language Of Letting Go and Co-Dependent No More, HEALED ME!!! Denise Linn’s books came next into my life and pushed me onwards from there! I had no idea that I was co-creating drama nor did I know what co-dependent behavior was but oh boy was this toxic! And I got out. You can too!
Take love, patience and more calm into each day, each week by breathing before you react and finding small ways to create space and quiet. With time it gets easier as your new habits are formed which will add quality and resilience to your life!
Be Blessed. ♥